


Right Before Your Eyes, I'm Breaking

by lovingthisforallitis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Harry and Louis - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 22:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovingthisforallitis/pseuds/lovingthisforallitis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No reasons why, just you and me…</p><p>Harry knows every night he spends with Louis just makes it hurt worse. Especially when he leaves for her. Harry needs </p><p>Louis to see, or does Louis already see how much he’s breaking?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Before Your Eyes, I'm Breaking

**Author's Note:**

> So this was kind of inspired by a Taylor Swift song *Dodges hurled chair*, but i had some Harry/Louis feels something fierce and i happened to be listening to The Last Time. Which is full of angst, so this is what you get when i mix Larry feels with an angsty song like that.

                  Harry lay silent in the cold room, the only light to illuminate the room being the moon. Harry turned to stare at the beautiful boy beside him. Louis remained unmoving,

as Harry’s eyes traced over that jawbone, only minutes ago he was marking with his own brand. Only moments ago were they sharing a state of bliss, only they can find

in each other. Harry just felt cold, no warmth coming from the memory. He knew what would happen. It had become some sort of cruel game he played with his heart.

Morning would come and he’d be gone, leaving Harry with nothing but the bitter sweet memories of nights past. Harry had long given up hope that Louis would leave

 _her,_ but Harry knew better. Each time he asked, Louis would say “I’m doing this for us Haz; they’re not ready to know the truth yet.”  He’s wrong, Harry knew this, Louis

just wasn’t ready to put it all on the line, and he’s not sure he ever would be.

_Right before your eyes, I’m breaking_

_No cause, no reasons why_

_Just you and me_

            Louis stirred, Harry held his breath as those icy blue eyes sent electricity spiking down his spine. It just made it hurt worse, he felt an ache in his chest and it was

almost overwhelming. Louis’ eyes fluttered sleepily, his eyes focused on Harry’s blurry image until he could see two emeralds staring back at him through the moonlight.

Harry gave a smile, but it was just as broken as his thoughts were. Louis reached his hand out to trace over Harrys lips, Harry looked at anything but him and even

though they were only inches apart the distance had become too great.

 

“Lou,” Louis looked up startled, “what time are you leaving in the morning?” 

 

Louis felt that familiar swelling in his chest; he hated leaving Harry while he went back to Eleanor each time. 

 

“You know how it goes Harry.” He mumbled.

 

Harry stared at a spot behind Louis’ head. He wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted the answer.

 

“Do you love her?” Harry held his breath.

 

“No.” It came out short and clipped.

 

Yet this didn’t comfort Harry. He didn’t love her, but he still left every morning to go back to her. Was it really that hard to come to terms that he might actually love him?

This is the last time I promise, he thought, just one more and I’m done. He could promise as much as he wants, but he knows if Louis came back he’d welcome him again

and again.

 

“Please Lou, stay I just want-“his voice cracked, “I just want once to wake up holding you, instead laying in an empty bed.”

 

“Harry I can’t, I-I’m sorry.” Louis felt the tears push relentlessly against his eyes, but he held them in check.

 

“O-okay, alright” Harry took a deep breath, he’d let the pain out later when he knew no one was around; “Let’s get some sleep, yeah.”

 

Harry rolled over and closed his eyes tight shutting out the world for tonight. Louis reached out a hand but let it fall. There was nothing he could say to make it alright

again. So for tonight he let out a few tears. He saw the resolve in his eyes, Harry had given up. Harry had given up on him.

_This is the last time I’m asking you this_

_Put my name on the top of your list_

           

            Harry woke early that morning; he turned over to see a note where Louis had been. Use to this, he read the note with disinterest.

 

            _Harry,_

_I’m sorry; I’ll be back before we need to be at the studio. I’ll make this right I promise. Xx Boobear_

            Harry crumpled the note up and walked to the bathroom. Harry was tired. Tired of the empty promises, tired of the constant war between his head and heart, tired of

how bullshit this relationship had become. He stepped under the scalding spray, hoping to wash away the entire year and half he spent putting his blood, sweat, and

tears into a one sided relationship. He should probably stop calling it that. A relationship. He wasn’t even sure what the hell he and Louis had been doing for the past

year and half, because it was obvious it wasn’t mutual. It couldn’t be for him to keep running away from Harry and never looking back.  How is it that you can love

someone for a year and never have the feeling reciprocated?  How could you not see the true feelings hiding underneath? Harry let these questions bounce around until

he felt the water go cold.  He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel; he dried off and got dressed. He grabbed his phone and keys off the counter as he headed

for the door. His phone buzzed, it was a text from Louis he decided to ignore it as he slid into the driver’s seat and peeled out toward the studio.

 

_This is the last time I’m asking you why_

_You can break my heart in the blink of an eye_

            Louis arrived at the studio later than usual; he hadn’t expected it to take that long. Harry had also ignored his text, he was going to have to do some major

damage control and even that was an understatement. He walked into the booth, and thankfully they were still doing sound check. He saw Harry stooping over to talk to

Niall; he didn’t look up when Louis came in. Liam turned and gave Louis a knowing look. He knew he had a lot to explain, but all that could wait as they began with the

harmonies to _Little Things_.  Harry could sense Louis’ eyes on him the whole time. He wouldn’t give in, he wouldn’t give his twisted heart the satisfaction of knowing he

couldn’t forget him if he tried. As the song came to Louis’ solo Harry wanted to laugh at the irony. _“…and all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it_

 _makes no sense to me.”_ It didn’t make much sense to Harry either, to want someone who couldn’t see past his own insecurities to a love unmoving and non-judging.

And he bottles it all inside not once uttering a sound to anyone else. For what? For _him_ who couldn’t bring himself to love me openly, to look into my eyes to see just

how deep my love ran, and to finally give me the safe and secure relationship I deserve?! Harry realized he had somehow become to hate himself, he felt used and dirty.

He gave and gave, but never saw Louis give back and he was done. Harry stormed out of the booth and down the hall. He didn’t want to be there, when the flood broke

the walls he had so carefully built.    

_When right before your eyes,_

_I’m aching, run fast,_

_Nowhere to hide,_

_Just you and me…_

 

            Liam hadn’t really thought about what he was doing, he just knew as soon as Harry had taken off he needed to follow him. That’s why he was now looking

through empty rooms, searching for Harry. He was about to turn around when he heard a broken sob in the room beside him. He opened the door cautiously; he saw a

mop of dark curls huddled in a corner.  Liam didn’t bother with the lights; he didn’t think Harry would appreciate them anyway. He slid down the wall next to him. Harry

felt someone beside him and he didn’t want to find out whom, but curiosity got the better of him. There was Liam staring back down at him, eyes warm and dark. Harry

once associated the color with hot chocolate, sweet and soft and can chase way the cold as quickly as it came. Liam pulled Harry close, and Harry felt the warmth travel

like wildfire. Harry nuzzled his face into Liam’s neck, he needed this. He needed Liam to take away the cold that had set up like a second home in Harry.

 

“Harry,” Liam tilted Harry’s head up until his eyes met Liam’s,” tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“I can’t do it any more Li.” Harry whispered.

 

“Can’t do what Haz?” Liam was sufficiently confused.

“This, with Louis I’m just so _tired_ …” Harry took a deep breath, he could feel himself unraveling.

 

Liam was a little taken aback, he honestly shouldn’t be, it was right there in front of them. He just wished he’d paid a little more attention.

 

“Harry, do you care to elaborate on that?” Liam chuckled softly. Harry sniffled a little and sat up straighter. He looked in him the eyes, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready

share what he and Louis _had_ , it was a grim thought but he was sure that this couldn’t go on any longer, if he didn’t though he would surely break.

 

“Louis, he-he doesn’t love anymore Liam.” Harry dropped his head down again.

 

“Now Hazza, I am quite sure that’s not true,” Liam brought Harry’s head back up until their eyes met,” I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and if I have ever seen a bloke in

love it would definitely be Lou.” Haz smiled, but it soon fell.

 

“If Louis loves me then why is he constantly going back Eleanor?” Harry all but spat out the last part.

“I don’t know babe, that’s something you and Lou are going to have to work yourselves.”

 

“But he doesn’t want to! He always brushes it off, and changes the subject.”

 

“Then _make_ him listen, if he’s that stubborn give him no other choice.” Harry simply nodded. Liam reached down and grabbed a hold of Harry’s hand to pull him up with him.

 

“Alright are we ready to go back there and try again?” Liam asked. Harry smiled as they made their way back to the sound booth.

 

  

_This is the last time you tell me I’ve got it wrong,_

_This is the last time I say it’s been you all along,_

_This is the last time I let you in my door,_

_This is the last time, I won’t hurt you anymore._

 

            Louis was sat on a sofa while they waited for Harry and Liam to get back. Zayn was watching as Niall devoured his second bag of crisps that morning. Louis

bounced his knee in a nervous gesture, this caught Zayn’s eye and he placed his hand over Louis’ knee to cease the movements.  

 

“Lou,” Louis looked up,” Do you want talk about it?” Zayn asked.

 

“Talk about what?”

 

“Lou it’s okay, we…we kinda know…” Lou’s head snapped around to look at Zayn; his eyes narrowed and took on a sharp edge.

 

“What do you mean you _kinda know_?” Louis spat. Zayn took note at his harsh tone and proceeded with caution. He wanted to help his friend, not scare him away.

 

“I mean we had some suspicions that you and Harry are ‘together’, but we wanted to hear it from you officially.” Louis’ eyes softened and he nodded his head.

 

“Okay, yeah Harry and I have been dating for about a year-and-half now.” Zayn was surprised, mostly because he thought he would’ve noticed by now.

 

“Alright mate, I’m happy for you.” Zayn’s grin covered half his face.

 

“Don’t forget about me! I’m happy to.” Niall’s smile was as bright as the sun, and contagious to it had Louis smiling like a fool also.

 

“So, do you want to talk about what happened a few moments ago?” Zayn inquired. Louis sighed. He supposed he would have to eventually, but what are they going

think after they’ve heard the whole thing? Here goes nothing. 

“So you know about Eleanor being a cover up,” the boys nodded their heads,

“Well Harry has been asking me to end it with her, and I wouldn’t.”

 

 Zayn and Niall shared a look before gesturing for Louis to continue.

 

“Well I did it today that’s why I was late, but I think I’m too late already and now he hates me.”

 

Zayn smiled.” Mate, Harry doesn’t hate you,” Zayn put his arm around Louis’ shoulders,” if I’ve ever seen a bloke more in love, it’s definitely Harry.”

 

Louis smiled appreciatively.

 

 “Do ya think so?” he asked.

 

“Lou, if I’m wrong about this then you can take all of Niall’s crisps away-“

 

“Hey!” Niall shrieked

 

“You didn’t let me finish!” Zayn ground out. “Now you can take all of Niall’s crisps away, _and_ every reflective surface I own.”

 

“Okay, it’s a deal.” Louis beamed, knowing just how long it would take the raven haired lad to crack.

 

Niall chuckled.” Can’t wait to how this goes.”

 

_This is the last time I’m asking you,_

_Last time I’m asking you,_

_Last time I’m asking you this..._

            Harry and Liam walked in, and all sound seemed to cease. Well, that’s what it felt like to Harry at least. Lou looked as their eyes met. He steeled himself for the

conversation to come. Harry stood straighter he need as the confidence could to carry him through this. Lou got up and walked towards Harry. Harry stepped back in

shock, not expecting Louis to make the first move. Lou didn’t know what to think as Harry backed away from him, but he didn’t let that deter from what he had to say.

 

“Harry we need to talk.”

 

Harry felt pure unadulterated fear course through him, but he met Louis’ eyes to say, “Yes we do, but maybe we should go somewhere private to discuss this.”

 

Louis nodded and followed Harry out the door. It seemed like hours before they both went off into an empty room just a few doors down from the recording booth.

Louis shut the door and turned to see Harry in a defensive stance. He was sure the boy didn’t know he was doing it, but he wanted to reassure him none the less. Inside

Harry could feel every crack in his heart, he knew if Louis was going do what he thought he would do then Harry would be completely destroyed. Louis closed the few

steps between him and Harry quickly. He crushed his lips into Harrys taken Harry by surprise. Louis could feel Harry relaxing; he wanted nothing more than to stay like

this in this moment forever and show Harry exactly how he felt, but he had things he needed to say.

 

“Harry, I love you more than anything in this world, and don’t _want,_ I _need_ you to believe every word I’m saying is true, I’ve never wanted anyone but you.”

 

Harry’s breath was caught in his throat; he couldn’t say anything even if he knew what to say. Tears escaped on their own, they raced down his cheeks over Louis’ hands

were they rested on his face. Harry managed to choke out the one thought on his mind.

 

“W-why did you wait so long?”

 

“I was so afraid Harry, I’ve never felt something this strong before and I had no clue if you felt same.”

 

Harry was shocked to hear how insecure Louis was this entire time, and he hadn’t thought to ask how Louis felt about their relationship, he had been too caught up in

how he felt.

 

“I am so, so sorry, I had no idea I should’ve talked to you but instead I let my own feelings get in the way of how I was thinking.”

 

“No Harry don’t apologize, if anyone needs to say ‘sorry’ it’s me I kept pushing you away, and not giving you a chance to say anything.”

Harry place a soft kiss to Louis’ lips as their tears mixed together making the kiss taste a bit salty. Harry broke away to draw a breath.

 

“I was so scared that you didn’t feel as strongly about us as I did, but now I see that both just have a hard time saying what we really feel.”  Louis smiled.

 

“Oh Haz”

 

        The corners of Harry’s lips turned upwards at the mention of the nickname, he pressed their lips back together as the kiss started out slow but soon turned heated.

Harry walked Louis to the wall behind them, and pressed him up against as Harrys tongue glide across Louis’ bottom lip asking for entrance. Louis quickly obliged as his

and Harrys tongues battled for dominance. Harry’s had won and was now exploring every inch of Louis’ mouth. Louis let a groan of pleasure slip out as the pressure of

Harrys hips against his, and the kiss were making his head spin. Harry bucked his hips when Louis bit down on his bottom lip causing Louis grind against him. Harry bit

down on the soft spot right below Louis’ ear making him whimper loudly. Louis, in a cloudy haze of lust, remembered where they were at and gently pushed Harry back.

“Okay, before we can go on I think we need to get back so the lads don’t think we killed each other.”

Harry smiled.

 

“Alright, but don’t think you’re off the hook that easily.”

 

He breathed right into Louis’ ear causing him to shudder. He nodded his head enthusiastically, and straightened his clothes before heading toward the door. Harry

looped his arm around Louis’ waist bringing him close as they walked back down the hall.

 

            Everyone looked as Louis and Harry entered the room. Liam raised an eyebrow in question.

 

“So, can we all assume everything is alright?”

 

Louis and Harry just gave each other knowing smiles.

 

“So for the record, can I know what room you two screwed in so I can avoid it at all cost?” Niall asked.

 

Both Louis and Harry’s faces went red; Liam blanched and nearly choked on his water, and Zayn came up behind Niall and slapped him up the side of his head.

 

“Way to show some tack there Nialler.”

 

 “Okay, if were all done with the twenty questions can get back to work?”

 

The boys all took their spots at the mics, and you could not only hear but feel the shift of the mood in the room. It seemed all was finally right in the group. If the small

smiles Louis and Harry secretly shared from time to time was anything to go by.  

      

 

 

 

            

 

**Author's Note:**

> So let me know how this went over guys! If i feel like i've done a good enough i might go ahead and upload some more of my works! ;)


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